Mike’s Typo

I’ve always sorta pulled for Gavin (Newsom, SF mayor). He seems like such a ditz who was somehow mis-packaged at the baby factory. Kinda a Monday or Friday baby. Know what I mean? But, something about him just makes you root for him. I mean after all he’s the mayor that has put the “soap” into SF Opera right? But, he’s finally been outdone. Not by one mayor, but two.

You’ve got the guy in Detroit who is text message crazy and didn’t have any idea that someone might have record of his explicit love messages (hundreds, by the way) to his Chief-of-Staff. Ok, so that’s just plain stupid. On all fronts. No sympathy there.

But, I love this one. Carmen Kontur-Gronquist, mayor of a small, eastern Oregon town of 500, has one-up’d even Gavin. Her MySpace page featured pictures of her posing in lingerie on one of the city’s firetrucks. Doing a bit of due diligence (purely editorial integrity stuff), I went looking for the Honorable K-G’s page. Seems it’s NOW only available to her friends of which I’m not one. Falling back on my investigative reporter skills, I was able to uncover a shot of the mayor on the truck from what appeared to be a reputable Internet smut site. (All in the name of good investigative journalizm.) I’m no expert, but it sure looks like underwear. It sure looks like the mayor. What’s more, that looks a lot like a firetruck. I think she’s toast.

I think we need to round up all these nit-wits - the mayor from Detroit, our Oregon hottie mayor, and how about that bathroom Senator from Idaho - and buy them a one-way ticket right out of office and onto the July 5th flight to wherever that plane is going. (Read Mile High Club post.)

I was flying back (on a plane) the other day and the thought occurred to me: “wouldn’t be great to be sitting here nude?” I mean you’re sitting there, your clothes get all bunch up and you get uncomfortable. You get uncomfortable and you get a little testy. Plus, really you run out of things to look at. So, “nudity ok here” would solve all the problems, right? What would Richard Reid have done if he’d been on a nude flight? You’re probably thinking, the air was a bit thin in that cabin Mike was in. Confession: I made all this up. The thought has never crossed my mind that it would be great to fly nude. Further confession: I’ve never ordered anything over the Internet in the nude either. Call me old-fashioned - I can take it.

But leave it to the SF Chronicle and once again Wired to really get the juices flowing (get you “thinking” that is). Seems the Germans are big on nudism. Didn’t know that. But, it’s in print so it must be true. The term, if you’re interested is, Freikorperkultur. No there is no “e” on the end, and yes the o should be one of those with the two dots above it. I’m sure it matters, but really how many of you know the difference between the double-dot o and a regular o? I’m probably going to get lots of email on this. But, anyho. So this freik…. literally translates to “free body culture.” Again, big in German. Or, so they say.

It appears that this is a “holiday travel companies” that is chartering these flights. The first is scheduled for July 5. There are a couple of key details. You must remain clothed in the airport. So, I’m guessing after the plane is in-flight and levels off the Captain will announce it’s safe to move around the cabin and…. Oh, and this. For safety reasons, the crew will remain clothed. Ok, if it’s unsafe for the crew to disrobe, how is it safe for the passengers? I’ve got more questions than answers. If you do too, link over to the article.

See you in Germany on 7/5! Reserve you spot today.

Oh, one more thing. Seems this is NOT an original idea. It was done back in 2003 by Naked Air on a flight to Mexico. Supposedly, the Naked Air web site has pictures. I wouldn’t know since I haven’t checked it out. Let me know if you find any!

Harley launched a new custom seat program for Softails. It’s online. You design your seat and then we order it for you. Could this be a hint of what’s to come on the custom front? If so, it’s all long overdue. This is a cool tool. Check it out here. Better yet, check it out, build a custom seat, and we’ll order it for you!

Photographer Taryn Simon has photographed some of America’s most secret places. And, in her latest book, she shows off some of these spots. Wired Magazine reported recently that Simon assembled this book from access she gained to research facilities and government offices hidden to the public. How she got to then publish the photos is a mystery to me; but, none-the-less interesting. So, you can jump over to Amazon and buy the book, or take a peek at the article and some of the images from this.

So it seems the newest trend in fantasy hotels is sex. Or, maybe this isn’t new. Conceptually, this has been around since… well, the beginning of time. But, leave it to the Japanese (principally) to perfect it. Or, have they? You can be the judge. Another photographer, this time American Misty Keasler, has shot some of the newest, “most innovative” love hotels in Japan. Once again, leave it to Wired Online to bring us this dish. As I write, this is their top article. Go figure. Comes with a health dose of pictures. Words wouldn’t do justice in this case. A picture is really worth a thousand words. So, don’t be embarrassed, jump on over and check this out. You’re not alone!

One of the new columns for 2008 is this POW - Product of the Week. It’s being ghost written by me on behalf of a product expert. Ok, really. I can do this. Just don’t ask me to ring you out on the register.

This week’s product is a no-brainer. I can’t tell you the number of bikes I see without the brake light module installed. We put them on all new bikes we sell when we set the bike up. That’s how sure we are that you should have it. Formally referred to as the “Auxiliary Running Light/Brake Light/Turn Signal Conversion Kit,” this little gem turns your rear turn signals into two additional brake lights. So, when you brake, you’ve got three lights instead of one. One of the biggest causes of accidents is the car not seeing that you are braking and taps (or worse) your rear end. When that happens, generally it screws up your day. So, if you don’t have this accessory, call us and make an appointment with Julian or Dan to have it installed. It’s pretty easy with no wires to cut.

Want to check out the official Harley word, here are the links:

• Softail
• Dyna/Touring
• V-Rod
• Sportster

Read on. There’s a coupon below from Jimmy and the boys on this.

Coupon - Free Install on Brake Light

Catchy title, right? Julian and Dan thought that up. And, they’re real proud of it too. So, doesn’t need much explaining. Bring your ride in for a brake light module, officially know as the “Auxiliary Running Light/Brake Light/Turn Signal Conversion Kit” and our boys will install it for FREE. That’s right, buy the kit from Julian or Dan and they’re going to strong arm one of the techs into installing it for free. Amazing what a batch of homemade cookies from Julian’s wife will do for us all. Hurry, this offer won’t last. We’re thinkin’ through February. But, really, don’t wait because you’ll forget or we’ll forget. You know the routine. Call for an appointment now. SC 421-9600 x2 or GV 768-9500 x2.

It’s the classic story. You’re packing tight for that road trip. It starts out two pairs of jeans, six pair of underwear, four pair of sox, and so on. By the time you’ve got the T-bag stuffed you’re down to a couple of pairs of underwear and a single pair of jeans. Inevitably there’s no room for that book you’ve been reading. Or, worse you’re almost done with one book and ready to start another one. There’s definately no room for two books. “So, where is he going with this?”

Right. And, the point is. I needed a little intro to justify my latest foray into technology. The Amazon (.com) Kindle. What the heck is that, you say. It’s the latest attempt at an “electronic” book. I say latest, because there have been a handful of companies, including Sony, that have tried to create electronic books and failed. There’s nothing like the feel of a book in your hands, right?

Well, the world is changing. And, I think Amazon may have gotten it right. Who better, with their experience distributing the printed book. At roughly 5″ by 7″ and less than an inch thick, this device is the perfect size to hold and travel with. Battery life is excellent because of the completely-different-than-pc-screen-technology. Maybe best of all, it holds a ton of books. You can load maybe 5 years worth of reading on here. I’m just making that up, but really it holds a lot. You can change the size of the type. You can read indoors; you can read outdoors.

Here’s what I like almost best, it’s easier to order and receive a book than the conventional way of ordering from Amazon. Impossible you say. Believe it. Right from your Kindle screen, you search for a book, find it, one-click buy it, and it’s ready to read in about 30 seconds. Oh, and you aren’t plugged into anything. I’m not even going to tell you how that works. Check out the product site to find out more and figure out where I got my facts wrong.

So, what’s the downside. Well, the biggest one I can think of is this: the days of impressing the cute gal next to you on the plane are over. You know the scenario - she’s so impressed because your reading a well-worn, unabridged copy of War and Peace. Oh, well, that really never worked anyway.

Solves the packing problem at least!

Quick footnote: you’re probably thinking the economics don’t work. The initial buy-in to get the unit is a bit steep. But then, the books are about 2/3 the cost of the printed version and there’s no shipping, and no wireless charges. So, depending on how you want to crunch the numbers, the thing really pencils out too. Not to mention the rainforest of trees we won’t be using to print those books you read only once, blah, blah, blah. I wish I was getting a commission on this.

Sub-prime mortgages. Arbitrage. What’s next from our trusted banks - the keepers of our savings? In fact, what happened to that concept? You know the idea that giving your money to a bank for safe-keeping, was actually, you know, safe?

Sixty days ago did you even know what a sub-prime mortgage was? How about arbitrage? It’s a new world. What high-finance demon is lurking out there to scare us next?

So is the glass half empty or half full? So, many questions to start this rant. But, my answer is that the glass is half full and about to get fuller. Because, I have a very safe place for you to deposit your money. Right here at Santa Cruz or Green Valley Harley-Davidson. We’ll take good care of your money. You won’t get it back, but that’s the risk you take with banks, the market, and other assorted hazards out there. So, give it to us. Guaranteed enjoyment; maybe even a sense of enlightenment. Throw in a dash of inner-peace while you’re at it.

Did I mention you can have your paycheck direct deposited with us?

Reading more and more about this “mad trader” from France’s Societe Generale bank, makes me think of the Abbott & Costello routine: Who’s On First. Really, this is an unbelievable story with the chief executive of the bank calling the culprit of these trades “a terrorist.” That should give you a bit of pause.

As the story goes, the fictitious trading started in 2005. Since then there were several instances where alarms went off, but the trader, Jerome Kerviel, was able to produce sufficient evidence to calm the auditors. What’s interesting is really what he was doing. In the world of finance, he played in a game difficult for most of us to understand. They call it arbitrage. So, arbitrageur, Kerviel, was responsible for buying one type of stock index futures while at the same time selling a similar mix of indexed futures with a slightly different value as a hedge against possible losses. The concept is telling. Betting that a set of futures will go up or down is considered so risky that it’s someone’s job to “hedge” by buying other similar futures that will hopefully act the opposite as markets move. Wow. Complicated. But, don’t worry your money is safe because if the bet is wrong there is an offsetting bet to protect you against a big loss.

So, the game of arbitrage, when played correctly, leads to small profits from very large trades. Ah, but if you’re sure that one set of futures will go up. I’m mean if you are totally, completely sure, then you can make so much more money by not making the “hedge” trade. (Because that position will for sure go down, right?) It’s not arbitrage anymore, but this is what Kerviel was doing. He started small making bets that he was right. And when he was, he made big money for the bank. Way bigger than he could make if he performed his job as defined. Visions of sugarplums were replaced by glory in the eyes of his fellow traders, his bosses, and huge bonuses to reward his brilliance.

Societe Generale’s head of asset management was quoted in this NY Times article as stating that Mr. Kerviel was “massive in money” by the end of December. But, then the European markets turned down in January and his losses mounted. Couldn’t we change the names and the description of the game and call this Las Vegas? Or, how about change the name to Citibank and the game sub-prime mortgages. Ah, where mortals should not dabble.

The money quote: “He bet on the return of the markets that were extremely low and he imagined that there would be a return of the markets just as large as the losses. There is an addiction. There is a dependency on this complicated game of betting on the markets, and there is a sort of spiral into which it is difficult to exit.” This from the french prosecutor.

Alas, my parting thoughts. When it’s over, the US will be blamed for this. Afterall, it was the US economic woes that sent the European markets into a tailspin earlier this month - just at the very moment bank management paniced and sold all of Mr. Kerviel’s positions. What a movie this will make. Or, has it already been made. Anyone remember the line, “Greed is good?” Or how about the book Bonfire of the Vanities.

TV, that is. TODAY! The Rocker will be featured in a 30-minute show that airs today on SpeedTV. The show features Willie G and Bill Davidson and some other sorted characters. Carey Hart, the freestyle motorcross rider, makes a cameo and gives his impression of the Rocker. I’m betting he likes it. Hope I didn’t spoil that for you. (I hate it when someone tells me how the movie ends.)

Show time: Tuesday, 1/29, 5:30p. Come by Santa Cruz H-D, we’ll have it blasting on our TVs.

Can’t make it by this afternoon. Here are a few other times the segment will air:

• Saturday, 2/2, 8a
• Tuesday, 2/5, 9:30a
• Tuesday, 2/5, 5:30p
• Wednesday, 2/6, 5:30a
• Thursday, 2/21, 12a

Our lawyers make us say, check your local listings to verify the show times in your area.