Mike’s Typo

There’s a couple of ways to look at this whole Societe Generale mess. One of course is to look at the cumulative effect of the “rogue trader” combined with the bank’s aggressive position in sub-prime mortgages gone south. One week they announce a $7 billion hit and then a week and a half later they come clean with an additional $2 billion hit. Believe it or not, and it’s hard to, this is real money. Somewhere north of $9 billion. Whose money is it anyhow? Where did it go? Who has it now? $9 billion gone. It had to go somewhere. Someone is richer for it. Wouldn’t you just love to see a flow chart of where the money went? I’m sure the people of France would. Could their be a government bailout far off?

Here is another way to look at this. Rogue trader, also referred to by the bank’s chairman as a “terrorist,” is a diversion of convenience. They knew all along what this kid (and he is a kid) was doing. In fact, they were party to the cover-up. So, bank decides to clear $7 billion dollars worth of bogus trades just days before it plans to announce the biggest sub-prime losses in all of Europe. Coincidence? Sure smells like skunk to me. Read this story in the NY Times. It will give you a little better perspective on the plot line.

This is all fun to follow. The intrigue. Right up to the point where you remind yourself - $9 billion of real money.

Leave it to Animal Planet to bring us a worthy alternative to the Super Bowl tomorrow. As you surf the channels around 3pm looking for the Super Bowl you just might stumble across Animal Planet’s Puppy Bowl IV. It’s billed as 3 hours of puppies on the gridiron goin’ for the goal. I admit, I watched the trailer. This is going to be pretty darn funny. I’m going to tape it. Or, maybe if the Super Bowl is a blowout in the first quarter, I’ll just jump over to Puppy Bowl. I’m thinking the commercials aren’t going to be as fun.

A three hour Puppy Bowl. I can imagine by the third quarter those pups are gonna be draggin’. The action might be too. Probably be some animal rights activists up in arms about 3 hours being “cruel and unusual.” I’d go alone with the “unusual.” Who thinks of these thing?

Article and trailer can be seen here.

Oh, one last thing. Half-time is a cat show. Sounds like they’ve got it all covered.

Seems he wants me to send him his deposit back on the 20-0-8 Rocker C he’s suppose to take delivery of later this month. I’m like: “Why, Wes, that grand jury laid down for you. You’re not the felony we all loved you for.” He’s like, “Dude, yeh, my lawyer did a number, but now I gotta pay all this back tax that I swear is optional.” So, next question. I’m thinking, should I ask it. Oh, what the heck. “How much, Wes?” He’s like, “17 man.” I’m thinking, WOW, he got off light. There are double-fine zone tickets that are more than $1700 now. Maybe I should try this no-pay-taxes-’cause-I-don’t-believe-in-it thing.

So, I’m a bit miffed. I mean here’s a guy who’s pulling down how many thousands everyday from just movie rental royalties and he’s pullin’ his deposit for a bike I moved him up (I mean way up) on the list to get. Maybe it was the fruitcake I sent him for Christmas. I don’t know. But, this is eating at me.

Then, I get up this morning and open the paper to this article and see it’s $17 million he owes in back taxes. And, they tack on interest and penalties to that. I pretty sure that interest and penalties thing is something north of 10%. So, if my math is right we’re talking another $170,000. So, I guess that $1,000 deposit will come in handy.

I’m thinking that it would have been a whole heck of a lot cheaper to just go along with the gov and pay the taxes when they were owed. But, whatta I know.

Lightbulb moment: Aw, shit, since he’s been hidin’ out in Florida these past few months, he’s probably gonna buy that bike from ‘ole Brucie (Rossmeyer). First Steven Tyler, now Wes. That’s it. I’m canceling my Daytona trip. And, I’m taking Brucie off my Christmas fruitcake list!

I’ve always sorta pulled for Gavin (Newsom, SF mayor). He seems like such a ditz who was somehow mis-packaged at the baby factory. Kinda a Monday or Friday baby. Know what I mean? But, something about him just makes you root for him. I mean after all he’s the mayor that has put the “soap” into SF Opera right? But, he’s finally been outdone. Not by one mayor, but two.

You’ve got the guy in Detroit who is text message crazy and didn’t have any idea that someone might have record of his explicit love messages (hundreds, by the way) to his Chief-of-Staff. Ok, so that’s just plain stupid. On all fronts. No sympathy there.

But, I love this one. Carmen Kontur-Gronquist, mayor of a small, eastern Oregon town of 500, has one-up’d even Gavin. Her MySpace page featured pictures of her posing in lingerie on one of the city’s firetrucks. Doing a bit of due diligence (purely editorial integrity stuff), I went looking for the Honorable K-G’s page. Seems it’s NOW only available to her friends of which I’m not one. Falling back on my investigative reporter skills, I was able to uncover a shot of the mayor on the truck from what appeared to be a reputable Internet smut site. (All in the name of good investigative journalizm.) I’m no expert, but it sure looks like underwear. It sure looks like the mayor. What’s more, that looks a lot like a firetruck. I think she’s toast.

I think we need to round up all these nit-wits - the mayor from Detroit, our Oregon hottie mayor, and how about that bathroom Senator from Idaho - and buy them a one-way ticket right out of office and onto the July 5th flight to wherever that plane is going. (Read Mile High Club post.)

I was flying back (on a plane) the other day and the thought occurred to me: “wouldn’t be great to be sitting here nude?” I mean you’re sitting there, your clothes get all bunch up and you get uncomfortable. You get uncomfortable and you get a little testy. Plus, really you run out of things to look at. So, “nudity ok here” would solve all the problems, right? What would Richard Reid have done if he’d been on a nude flight? You’re probably thinking, the air was a bit thin in that cabin Mike was in. Confession: I made all this up. The thought has never crossed my mind that it would be great to fly nude. Further confession: I’ve never ordered anything over the Internet in the nude either. Call me old-fashioned - I can take it.

But leave it to the SF Chronicle and once again Wired to really get the juices flowing (get you “thinking” that is). Seems the Germans are big on nudism. Didn’t know that. But, it’s in print so it must be true. The term, if you’re interested is, Freikorperkultur. No there is no “e” on the end, and yes the o should be one of those with the two dots above it. I’m sure it matters, but really how many of you know the difference between the double-dot o and a regular o? I’m probably going to get lots of email on this. But, anyho. So this freik…. literally translates to “free body culture.” Again, big in German. Or, so they say.

It appears that this is a “holiday travel companies” that is chartering these flights. The first is scheduled for July 5. There are a couple of key details. You must remain clothed in the airport. So, I’m guessing after the plane is in-flight and levels off the Captain will announce it’s safe to move around the cabin and…. Oh, and this. For safety reasons, the crew will remain clothed. Ok, if it’s unsafe for the crew to disrobe, how is it safe for the passengers? I’ve got more questions than answers. If you do too, link over to the article.

See you in Germany on 7/5! Reserve you spot today.

Oh, one more thing. Seems this is NOT an original idea. It was done back in 2003 by Naked Air on a flight to Mexico. Supposedly, the Naked Air web site has pictures. I wouldn’t know since I haven’t checked it out. Let me know if you find any!

The SF Chronicle picked up a newswire feed entitled: “Student sentenced to die for Internet paper.” This may spell the end of the Typo. Or, at least I might reconsider the articles I write. Seems a 23-year-old journalism student was sentenced by an Afghan court to death for distributing a paper he printed off the Internet. The three judges ruled that the paper violated the tenets of Islam. “The three-judge panel sentenced Sayad Parwez Kambaksh to death for distributing a paper that humiliated Islam….” I’m not really up to speed on the tenets of Islam. So, readers, help me out here. Over the past year or so, have I violated any tenets? Just want to do a little insanity check, make sure I don’t need a little protection here.

It’s easy to take our Constitution, and the protections it provides us, for granted. God bless America. And, God bless those who fight, and those that have fought, for our freedoms.

It doesn’t take a math whiz to conclude that’s got to be a record. And, it is. The story is a wild one that is pretty well documented. This is a pretty ballsy, really stupid thing to do (author’s opinion). But, what a great justification to buy the latest electronic toys! A bunch of you (include me) are saying we’d do this if we could. As the story unfolds, it becomes quickly apparent that it’s not that easy. But, what a wild ride. The story is interesting, but it’s the video that sucks you in. Check it out here. Any prospective co-pilots out there?

I received a funny “unsubscribe” the other day. The comment was something to the effect that my content wasn’t appropriate for a five year old. Apparently, “a friend” signed up some first-grade, harley-lovin’ prospective customer. I’m all for bringing them into the fold early, but Mom is probably right - the Typo is not age-appropriate in this case. So, like the Comcast commercial says, “I’ve been blocked.”Fortunately no one at AP wrote about my predicament. Not so lucky, was Microsoft. You know the company that brought you Vista…. So, as the story goes, they thought they’d give back a few of those dollars you’ve sent their way. All in the Christmas (holiday) spirit, too. Creating northpole@live..com gave kids (principally) an opportunity to talk with the big man. (No not The Big Man, the other big man - Santa.) Microsoft’s Windows Live Messenger would let kids talk with Santa. Kinda a virtual version of the annual mall visit. Thanks to artificial intellegence (or lack there of), Santa could respond “on topic.”

This all worked until the conversation with one young Brit turned to eating pizza. Santa responded by bringing up oral sex. Not making this up. Read the article.

A reporter was able to “replicate” the exchange. He even got “into it” with Santa. Their conversation proportedly ended with each calling the other “dirty bastard.” Microsoft engineers worked on changes to the software, but in the end the company wasn’t comfortable keeping Santa online.

File this under: from the company that brought you Vista.

There is NO way I could have made that up. That is the word-for-word title of an article that describes the way the fertilization process of a East African great lakes fish works. I thought I might “spice” up the article a bit here with a satirical paraphrase, but it’s just toooo hard. The science of it all may have taken the intrigue out of this whole concept. See for yourself. If nothing else, you’ll have something to talk about at the next Christmas party. Just don’t tell anyone how you found the article!

I didn’t see this coming. I was surprised to learn that there is a whole subset of motorcycle enthusiasts out there that are dying to own a reproduction of the 1910 Harley-Davidson Silent Gray Fellow. Ok. I understand the folks that lust after the real thing; I’m one of them. But, come on, what is it about a repro that blows your skirt up? I guess a guy who owns a fake Cobra or one of those Porsche 356 kits could clue me in here. Short of that, I’m curious to see my first Timeless Motorcycle on the street.

The story — seems like Mike Hanlon, who owns fork maker Mean Street Products, started working on this project nearly 10 years ago. The idea was spawned from his desire to have a board track racer to display in his shop. To his credit, he’s built tooling and molds for everything. That’s right they make everything that goes on these bikes, including the tires. I don’t think Mr. Harley and the Davidson brothers did that when they build the “originals” nearly a hundred years ago. “How much?” you say, for a Timeless machine. The Boardtracker goes for $9,995 and the Classic for $10,995.

Tell Mike that I expect a referral fee if you buy one of these things.